The job I lost
I am a single mom who has two small boys and struggling to survive. After my ex-husband (the full time wage earner) decided to check out (in 2008) I have struggled to find absolutely any way to make money. I have worked for many years and am a good hard worker. I am smart and have a great personality but lack a college degree. In this economy I can not find anything that will allow me to make more than minimum wage. No one can survive on that by themselves so having myself and 2 children with no extended family makes it almost impossible.
What it's like being unemployed
Much like another single mom wrote- there is no way to buy shoes or appropriate clothing or healthy food when you are doing all you can to pay rent and power. When I came up short in January (yes, right now 2011) I was faced with being evicted and having to be homeless or go to a shelter. Finally, out of options, I took $150 from a man for unmentionable services (not something I normally would have EVER considered). This was enough to help me make it one more month. I have lost everything and now am sacrificing myself for money? I am literally selling myself to put food in my kids mouths. All this for a little money! Is this how our world really is? I don't want to be a part of this! What will I do in 3 weeks when rent is due again? I am struggling to find a second job but my children are suffering! Forget about day care- can't afford it! What are we teaching the next generation? I am not living an expensive life style. I know how to keep a budget but that just isn't enough! I am educated and smart but in these circumstances no one can survive. Why do we have a government? At this point death or prison would be a relief and welcome option! People on the street are suffering more than the people in the prisons. I can't believe how so many people can be in this kind of position and yet there is not more help available. If you get sick, need health care, or medicine- forget it! Don't get hurt or get in an accident- that will be the end of you. They will just leave you to die on the street. Your children will be orphans with emotional trauma and a life on their own (great for our next generations) I want to die most days but my kids, that I love more than anything in the whole wide world, are the only thing that forces me to keep going. But... even though I keep going, my heart shatters into a thousand pieces every day. There is not enough help for the people who need it most and everyone seems to watch you suffer and then ask where you are going to go and what you are going to do. What am I supposed to say? I am trying everything I can! It doesn't make a difference what you tell them- nobody helps because they don't really understand and it only makes them look at you in disgust for being in that situation in the first place. Every day is a battle and I don't know how long I can live like this. Being a good person.... hum... doesn't matter in this life....
Advice
- If you are struggling like me, take every meal offer you come across and breath. I don't know what else to say. Pray for a miracle or aliens or something because you have a better chance at that happening than our government stepping in. I had a guy give me what was chump change to him and it literally saved my life.... that day. Thanks.... I guess.
- As for the picture option... check my broken camera for the happiest picture I could find, my two little kids, sitting on a folding table at the coin laundry mat reading library books (because they are free to check out).
- God bless us.
